Oh, they're so smooth, Huey and his boys. They've got the lines for you, like did you know how much they love Scottish people? You did? Well, OK. They've got the kilts for you, too, which they're wearing out of respect. You knew that too? Well, grrrreat. Huey and his boys: they've got the lines, the jokes, the looks, the kilts, the mirrored revue-bar curtain. And the songs? 

Which is, obviously, obligatorily, cool. The lights dim, to the strains of Frank's 'Theme From New York New York', and the rhapsodical chant of "HUUUUEYYY! HUUUUEYYY!" ushers in the weed-smokin', all welcome if you're cool and if you're here then you must be, easy-listening hip-rock revue. 'Bombin' The L', it is, and then to follow, an abrupt shift to the punk rock of 'Tenth Street', and then, basically, you've heard it, hour upon hour, as a procession of nearly identical lite-rock accompanies Huey's jive talk, his bedroom talk, his, well... talk.

And the talk is fantastic. "Due to his choice of apparel, our drummer Steve O is experiencing chafing," he informs us of the hazards of traditional Scottish attire. "We present to you a rock song, and the sound of Steve O... becoming CHAFED!"

But it is, quite literally, all talk and no trousers. There are moments to marvel at certainly: the dexterity of bass player/ trumpeter/keyboard player Fast, and the comic-serious wit of 'Scooby Snacks' and 'Fun Lovin' Criminal', but the majority of their newer material - even the ironically un-climactic 'Love Unlimited' - sits on a terribly bland plateau, which they rather un-coolly insist on exploring with us in great detail.

The musically cool always leave you hungry. Fun Lovin' Criminals, meanwhile, make you realise that their mouths are writing cheques their kilts alone cannot cash.

Outta here, man, and it was fun. But only for a while.

John Robinson